Tech Support in the real world

Maybe you've had someone ask you some of these questions. Maybe you've asked them yourself.

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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
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The DaVinci Cod

I just had to pass this on. Got it from http://gnarlypop.blogspot.com.

Speed limit strictly enforced...

This photo was taken on Bel-Red road in Bellevue, WA (click it to see the large version). I caption it "Speed limit strictly enforced". It makes me smile everytime I drive by there. Within the speed limit, of course.

Food for thought...

Here are some oxymorons and other random questions I received in email recently.

• Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
  
• If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
  
• If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
  
• Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
  
• Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
  
• Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
  
• Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
  
• Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
  
• Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
  
• Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
  
• If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
  
• If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
  
• Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
  
• Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
  
• How come abbreviated is such a long word?
  
• Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
  

All good things must begin...

All good things must come to an end. Which means that they also must have begun. So, while your definition of good may be subjective, this minimal post has been placed here to create a beginning. More may come, and you're welcome to watch this space for it. Or, really, get on with your life and leave this blog to drift in the ether...